Archive | December 2012

2012

Hello World!

goodbye 2012

So, today is officially the last day of 2012. Like every other year, this day will come and pass. And me, noticing this routine, becomes accustomed to bidding farewell the year and ushering in the new year with open arms. It doesn’t actually make me sentimental or nostalgic because every year, these things gonna happen again. But, each year on this day, I will no doubt reflect on this year and vow to make things different the next year, because a new year to me, is like a new start. It’s like making a clean slate and starting all over again. Whatever mistakes you did in the previous year, doesn’t hold much significance anymore. Whatever achievements you’ve gotten, was last year’s. This year, you’re able to achieve other things, do something else, make some other mistakes.

2012 to me has been a year to be remembered, and I made mistakes in this year which I learnt from it. There was drama unfolding in school. Trust was broken. There were a lot of second-guessings and unhealthy thoughts, to which it affected some of my studies. There was a lot of paranoia. There was a lot of stress and tears. There were times where I felt like giving up and just disappearing into a black hole. But, on the other hand, I finally had the courage summoned up to speak what’s on my mind. I became less afraid of what other people might think. I learnt the core meaning of living not to please others. I learnt to forgive – but never to forget. I learnt who my true friends were. There were times where I would laugh too hard because of my classmates that I had to run out of the classroom. I had such a fantastic time in Ms Lam’s bio lesson. My class became much more closer and bonded – the friends made which I thought would never be as close. I met Ms Lim 2 times this year and we texted. 2012 was the year I had a very, unlikely crush on someone. The moments of impulse that led me to committing the most craziest things became the most memorable highlights of this year. Most importantly, this year taught me never to give up, and take in challenges with a warrior’s heart.

I am a person who always love to think the glass was half full instead of half empty. And so, when I look back on 2012, I like to think that the good times spent overrides the bad times I experienced. And I also like to think that whatever bad experiences I had, whatever bad choices I made, there was something to be learnt from it. The many second-guesses I had, taught me to be more certain of myself. And that is one lesson I will take with me to 2013, together with those mentioned above.

2012 was the year I sat for my O Levels. Cliche time here, I remembered it like it really was yesterday – the beginning of 2012, from the slow-paced learning environment that changed to become an ultra crazy period where teachers would just spam us with practice papers after practice papers. I remembered seeing my seniors going back to school to receive their O Level results. And I remembered me being motivated to work hard and study hard so as to get the “30-sec of fame” (standing up to reveal the top students) However, as the months sped by us, I realized I couldn’t stand a chance against my classmates because I’m not smart, but hardworking instead. I remembered the times where I got demoralized and felt like giving up. I felt that I studied so hard, but my efforts had gone in vain. There will always be people who will be better than me, be it in math, in english or in humanities. I could not be the best. But then, the moments of despondency made me think that I really ought not to compare myself with the rest of my classmates. What I should care about, is fulfilling my own expectations. I may not be the best, but I can be one of the best can I? I may not be the best, but if I fulfilled the targets I set for myself, then I ought to congratulate myself isn’t it? I may not be the best, but I shoudn’t be too hard on myself, should I? I may not be the best, SO WHAT? I can never really forget those times where I felt just worn out, and the ultimate feeling I got when I ended my Os on a good note. To all the juniors who will be sitting for their O levels next year, please do not fret so much ohkays? The teachers will guide you step by step, from MYE to Prelims to the real thing. The year will pass by as quick as a blink of an eye. I always thought how did my sisters and my seniors survived the O level phase. How ironic because I survived too, so if I survived, you juniors will too ๐Ÿ™‚

It was also the year where my dad was diagnosed with nose cancer. It was undoubtedly one of the most scariest periods in my family. It tested the bonds we had in our family. I really cannot forget that period of time where everyone in my family – and I mean everyone – was devastated by the news. My aunties and uncles all came to visit my dad and I remembered how there was so much camaraderie between my dad’s siblings. It was during my MYE period, so I actually “zoned-out” from the problems for a while. My dad was a brave soul, that is certain. He didn’t really took the cancer well at first but he did overcome it. He did not complain to us, he did not snap at us when the side-effects got the better of him. He did overcome it, and that was the most important thing. Now, with the grace of Allah, he’s alright and hopefully, cancer-free permanently. Being a normal teenager, I would sometimes feel irritated by my parents (and I still do), but whatever it is, cherish your parents, really. They’re the ones who brought you into this world and made numerous sacrifices just for your sake. You can never tell when they might be gone. So before that happens, cherish your parents. Atleast when they’ll leave you in the end, you won’t have any regrets. Cherish life in itself, because you can never really know when you might be hit with such shocking news such as this.

2012 was my senior year in secondary school. I was one of the oldest people in my school. We got to be the “rulers” of the school. Teachers gave priority to us. Teachers stayed back after school for us because of our countless questions. We would hound our teachers for consultation periods and our teachers would gladly make time for us. Face it, we students are kiasu LOL. But don’t let the Os distract you from enjoying your senior year in secondary school. You only get one senior year in secondary school, so be sure to make full use of it. From my perspective, I am still unsure if I made full use of my senior year in secondary school. Perhaps I didn’t. I was too worried by my Os and by other things, and that may be my deepest regret this year. However, that regret is my 2012 regret. 2013 is a fresh start. Maybe I’ll make other regrets next year, but in the meantime, Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! And here’s to welcoming 2013 with open arms ๐Ÿ˜€

xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer ๐Ÿ™‚

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Varied beliefs

“In Maycomb, if one went for a walk with no definite purpose in mind, it was correct to believe one’s mind incapable of definite purpose.”
-Harper Lee, To Kill A Mockingbird

A sleepy Saturday

Hello World!

Okays, so Thursday and Friday was a great day. Finally caught up with Ms Lim for lunch and it was sooo great getting to meet her again! ๐Ÿ™‚ Yay for keeping in touch haha. After lunch, mrt-ed all the way from tampines to bishan junction 8 to catch les miserables. And it was because Syafiqah couldn’t actually leave her house till 4pm, so we had to catch the movie at around 5plus in order to avoid rushing and all, so bishan GV was the only cinema we could find which had a 5pm plus show. And wow, I do not have any words for Les Miserables. It’s so amazing, really really astounding. I salute to the actors who were in the movie. They were just amazing. Their feelings were so clearly manifested by the way they sang, and it just moved me. No wonder it got a standing ovation after it first premiered in the US. For 7 bucks (because of student discount), it was definitely worth it. And I really do not mind watching it again. As Belle said, there is something about classics. No matter what the year or era they’re based in, its just timeless. It never goes outdated, you can never outgrow it and be bored by it ๐Ÿ˜€

On Friday, went to Plaza Sing to accompany my mum for her fortnightly skin treatment. And apparently, although I’ve actually been to plaza sing a few times, I do not actually know it was at Dhoby Ghaut LOLOL. One of the instances where I can just get really dumb and stupid LOL. Oh and it was a terrible mistake to wear heels whilst shopping. Especially those leather shoes with shoelaces on it. Firstly, its heels, and secondly, they’re shoes. They’re not sandals. So my toes were literally scrunched up and it hurts!! Especially when you’re shopping. I learnt my lesson that’s for sure. But, I snagged some clothes and a pair of Aldo Shades <3!! Loving the shades hehehe. And they were on sale, so it was definitely worth it.

And my deepest condolences goes out to the Indian gang-rape victim's family. The victim died today here in Singapore. Alas, even the medical personnel here could not save her. And yes, like many other ladies in India and even in Singapore who were deeply shocked and enraged by the actions of the rapists, I share the same view. Actions have to be taken to ensure the safety of women all around the world. They need to be protected. Mothers, daughters everywhere have the right to feel safe when we go out at night. It's a basic human right that we should no doubt be given. This incident, I really hope, will serve as an eye-opener to Delhi and to the rest of the world to secure the protection we woman rightly deserve and need. It's just so horrifying and I hope those 6 rapists would suffer for their actions, would pay a tremendous price for their actions. And yes, I do hope that they'll be hanged too. It's just horrifying that they have no respect for women.

xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer ๐Ÿ™‚

Follow your intuition

Hello World!

follow your intuition. be brave, be smart and tell the truth and don't take any shit

I think I might just need this at the moment. I still have no idea if what I did was a complete mistake and I made a fool out of myself, or I just did what I wanted to do all this while. Huh, who would have thought such a simple action could bring so much second thoughts. On the bright side (and I keep on telling myself this) that I did have the balls to do it, instead of avoiding it and silently cursing myself for not being brave enough lol.

Ohkays, my feelings aside, it’s time to “narrate” how my weeks have been. Well, haven’t been going out much lately. Been cooped up at home watching Modern Family and reading. I’m at Harper Lee’s To Kill A Mockingbird and everytime I read that book, I keep on wishing I had studied the book for literature, instead of Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart. I read through the entire A Visit From The Goon Squad without actually understanding the main messsage of it. I couldn’t identify the turning point in that story and I couldn’t actually connect some characters to the rest of them. Probably because Jennifer Egan included a lot of other characters, so the focus wasn’t there for me. I liked the idea of how she included a lot of characters inside it, meaning that you’re not the only one who messed up badly and winded up on the path of self-destruction. But, the flipside to this is that there’s no focus on one particular storyline and in my opinion, it makes the storyline really messy. The book won the National Book Critics Circle Award but I just don’t find it compelling and riveting enough :/ Instead I was just confused pretty much the whole way through.

Next to that, there were times when I would go out and exercise and times where I just spent my days being glued to my chair and my eyes locked to the computer screen, doing online shopping. Hehe.

Have a great week ahead and here’s to welcoming the new year! ๐Ÿ™‚ My O level results will tentatively be out from 10th-14th Jan and I’m feeling jittery already. Some days I would just want to get it over and done with, to see my results already, but some days I don’t want that day to ever come. *hashtags conflicted*

xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer ๐Ÿ™‚

The zeal

Hello World!

nothing great has been and nothing great can be accomplished without passion

Finally I shed some of my fats on Wednesday. After my annual doc’s appointment, went home and suggested to my sis that we go jogging together. Mum heard this and she was quite enthusiastic about accompanying us too and my dad suggested we all go to Bedok Reservoir for a jog cum walk together! My parents would be walking, and me and my sis would be jogging. However, because my sis hadn’t been exercising for 3 years (LOL) her stamina hit rock solid bottom LOL. So in the end, I was the one who was jogging. And can I just emphasize the importance of stretching. I guessed I didn’t stretch properly before jogging and the day after, my muscles seriously felt as though they had been ripped and torn mercilessly. Even walking the day after becomes such a difficult feat for me. And today, I’m planning to play badminton with my sis, although my muscles in my thighs still hurt like crazy. Guess I wanna be devoted religiously to my new exercise regime eh? Hahah. I now realize that I do want muscles – solid ones – in my stomach. Not fats, but muscles. And I do want to be able to put my legs out in front of me without feeling any pain or tension on my muscles. This is because after my surgery (the reason I have to go for my annual follow-up checkup), I couldn’t do physical education for a year. I wasn’t that flexible before, but atleast I could stretch out my legs in front of me without feeling any pain. But now, I couldn’t even do that without feeling pain and tension on my muscles. And I wanna change that. So I’m doing stretching and crutches daily and I really hope I’ll be able to stick to that haha.

Oh and today, I did some research on the course/subject I am really interested to take in junior college. It’s called English Language and Linguistics (ELL for short). This subject is not offered in all junior colleges in singapore, so I was googling on what exactly it is and which junior colleges actually offer them. And so I was googling and googling and feeling my interest intensify. But then, my hopes quickly got diminished as I saw the entry requirements. I need to get a distinction for my O Level English and 1 Humanities subject. Not only that, I would also have to sit for an exam before I’m able to do that subject. When I saw we had to get a distinction for English, I was like “There goes my chances.” Because, truly speaking, I don’t think I’ll be able to get an A for my English for Os. Sure, I love English Language but I felt my composition was badly done. I had writer’s block on that day. LOL. Like there wasn’t any inspiration for me at all to write a topic about fame. It was only days later, hell, weeks later that I suddenly thought I could write another essay, another good essay, on another topic. (we had a list of topics to choose and we had to choose one out of those topics) Yeahhhss. But that doesn’t mean I would stop writing or reading altogether. That doesn’t mean I would ever pursue my passion and interest in the Languages. Nothing can stop me from having that passion in the Languages. And like the picture suggests, maybe I’ll able to achieve something from this passion of mine. So what if I can’t get into ELL? It’s not gonna be the end of the world. Sure I’ll get disheartened I guess, but there’ll be other subjects for me to take, subjects that will equally interest me all the same ๐Ÿ™‚

Going over to sister’s place to help in decorations for Shifa’s birthday party tomorrow! We’re holding her 2nd birthday party and I’m sleeping over tonight! Have a great weekend!

xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer ๐Ÿ™‚

All the world’s a stage

All the worldโ€™s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurseโ€™s arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistressโ€™ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannonโ€™s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything

~William Shakespeare