Archive | April 2013

Stand you’re gonna run again

Hello World!

It’s been long since I started a post with a “Hello World!”

This week I’ve been feeling pretty down and under the weather, but I’m feeling better now 🙂 I really ought not to focus on the bad and negative points in my life. And I’m not even completely sure if it is a negative and a downside of my life in the first place. Maybe I was just thinking too much and over-analyzing things. Maybe I was being over-sensitive. Afterall, I have to admit I’m guilty of that sometimes.

I’ve come to know soo many awesome people in my class as well as outside of my class so instead of being down and constantly missing my secondary school friends soo much, I have to embrace my new friends and be thankful that I’ve found yet another welcoming and accepting bunch of peeps 🙂

After all, there comes a point in your life that you have to let go of the past and embrace what the future holds for you, even if the road seems treacherous and full of hardships, even if you’re treading it alone, with no one you knew by your side. Along the way, you’ll meet new people 🙂

As for my self-development, I have vowed and promised myself that I should really think before I speak, and I should be extra careful with my words, because I do not want someone else to be hurt the way I was hurt before.

I’ll try and reduce my complaining about school, about being tired, and instead be a more happier person 🙂

As for education purposes, it is stressful no doubt. It’s like I’m working twice or thrice as hard as I did during the O level period, and this is only in terms of completing my homework. It’s not even the promos yet. I honestly do not want to retain. My seniors tell me promos is gonna be more stressful than Os, and that I have to be mentally prepared for it. I guess that’s the price you pay for being 1 step closer to your goal.

In terms of CCA, I’ve signed up to be an EXCO member, the Head Of Media which is also the Head of Photography and Videography. I wanna leave TPJC with a sense of leadership and I honestly hope I’ll pass the interview and get that position 🙂

I’m still the same wallflower 🙂

Here’s to a great weekend ahead! 🙂

Xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer 🙂

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Don’t know where I stand

At one point in my life, on a certain day, I missed my secondary school life. Why? You might ask.

I missed my friends, I missed my teachers, I missed my class. I missed the times I was invisible. I missed the times when I would only go crazy in front of my closest friends. I missed the times when I was a closed book, a girl full of secrets who will only tell her closest friends what they were. I missed the times when I didn’t had to worry if I offended anyone because of my personality, actions, words or character. I missed the times I didn’t feel hurt because of some guy’s snarky comment. I missed the times where I did super crazy and random things and ended up not getting embarrassed by them. I just missed the familiarity of them all.

Guess what, I still do.

My life now has been crazy. I seem to be an open book. Everybody and anybody knows my secrets. I am such a crazy and wild girl in front of everybody. I did not think before I blurt out something. I didn’t think I would be able to offend anybody. I ended up making such a big fool out of myself in my stupid attempt to be more sociable. The number of times I was soo embarrassed is just uncountable. And it’s only been what? 3 months?

Then again, I might be thinking too much. But I just felt all those things. I know I wanted to grow further when I entered into a JC, and all these experiences and personality changes will help me in my growth. But the paradox that exists here is

I am still the same invisible girl. No one knows me that well to know all my secrets. I am still the same unpopular girl who only has a small group of friends she nonetheless loves dearly already. I am still that shy girl who gets all blushy and red in the face when the crush walks over.

Only minor changes are made, yet why do I feel like I’ve turned into a completely different person?