Archive | May 2013

Proving your literature teacher wrong

chandelier2

So I’ve gotten back most of my SA results, actually all, with the exception of Econs. And I gotta say I think I did quite badly. Especially GP. Got an E which was totally unexpected because I expected myself to do better than that. But I realized where i’ve gone wrong and up till now im still wondering what the hell was i thinking when I was doing the essay bit. Possibly the distractions bit kicked in again and thus, that made me lose focus. That said, I seriously ought not to let that distraction bit kick in again because it drastically can affect the quality of my work. And it’s so weird coz I don’t even know exactly what am I even distracted about O_o. I’ll just have this thought of ‘oh im gonnna lose focus’ and then I do and then I have to tell myself to ‘be here now’ which is really weird. I ought to get my brain checked LOL.

My other subjects were better, and I think it’s because I didn’t had this distraction part. I was focused on the paper, most of the time. And i feel particularly happy about lit. Here’s what happened. I didn’t blog about this before.

At the start of the year, all those who chose to take H2 lit had to do this aptitude test. We’re supposed to analyze a poem and write an essay about it. Well, I sorta misintepreted the poem so my evaluation was off. And my current lit teacher (back then I didn’t know she’ll be teaching me), who’s also the HOD for english literature, met me personally and asked me “are you sure you want to take H2 lit? Have you considered any other options? Because I don’t think you can do it.”

You have no idea how hurtful and demoralizing that day has been for me. It was on Valentine’s Day though. Since secondary school, heck, since sec3, I had a goal of entering into a JC and I knew I would do H2 lit as one of my subjects upon entering into a JC. Furthermore, literature is one of my passions and I really love the subject a lot, though it can sometimes drive me up the wall HAHA. So to be told you’re not good at what you like and to be told not to pursue the subject you really love and enjoy doing is a mega blow to me. However, I persisted and I said to her that I still want to do literature no matter what, and I will work hard and make sure she doesn’t do this to me again. That night, I talked to my sister and she said “well, you should instead view that comment of hers as a challenge and proved her wrong.” So then I promised myself that I will work hard and hopefully I could prove her wrong.

Then came the day we’re supposed to sit for a test. We studied Maxine Hong Kingston’s The Woman Warrior and so we’re supposed to write an essay about it, addressing the themes and so on and so forth. I was initially dumbfounded at the question and I didn’t know how to apply whatever she taught us to the essay. So I didn’t exactly followed her structure of answering the “How”, “Why” and “So what” questions. I tried to analyze the evidences based on what she taught us and based on what I feel was right, whilst trying to answer those abovementioned questions. And to my utmost disbelief, I scored highest amongst the entire cohort! I was truly genuinely shocked because I thought I will not do well at all, and she’ll continue having this perception of me as the girl who can not do it. But I totally proved her wrong OMG and she photocopied my essay to be given to the entire cohort O_O

Then came SA. I didn’t managed to retain that position but I got second-highest in cohort. The highest was 27.5, I scored 27. This time round I did follow the ways she taught us and applied whatever I’ve been taught, though I didn’t managed to finish conclusion and include in authoritarial intentions due to the lack of time. But she nevertheless commended me in front of the entire class. Up till now her words still ring in my head. “Did you guys know, Shabira was one of the students I had met earlier on during the year and I told her not to take lit. I’m so glad she didn’t listen to me. This just proves that you can do anything with hard work.”

Her frank words was a big blow to me. So likewise, you have no idea how those words of hers boosted my self-esteem. I just proved my literature teacher, who’s like so atas and so clever and so learned, wrong. I proved to myself that I’m able to prove someone wrong. It’s such an incredible feeling.

So to my beautiful readers, when someone tells you you can’t do something right, when you can’t pursue what you want to pursue just because you’re not good enough, don’t just sit there and wallow in self-pity. Go and prove those people wrong because ultimately, you can. Instead of using those harsh words as a pulling factor that drives you deeper and deeper into self-despair and hopelessness, use it as a drive to pull yourself out of the perception that certain individual has on you, and create a new perception of yourself in the eyes and minds of that same individual, a totally different perception. Because once you’ve achieved this, you have no idea how aweseome that feels like. Trust me.

Finally my dinner has arrived. Have a great weekend everybody! 🙂

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The movie, the birthday, the friends

Hello World!

This week has been a fantastic one so far. Mainly because on Monday, Wednesday and Friday I had no school. Tuesday was my last SA paper and Thursday was Sports Day!

So on Thursday we had Sports Day, or a Track Meet as TPJC calls it LOL. I didn’t participate so me and my slut gang were practically slacking the morning away. Camwhoring and taking photos with them. I swear they treat me iPhone 5 as a DSLR. HOHO when I’m gone and I didn’t bring my phone along with me, they’ll manage to procure my phone and then start to camwhore. But it’s alright I still love them berry much and it’s nice to see their unglam faces with the knowledge that I have the power to blackmail them someday with their unglam unglam photos in my camera roll HAHAHAHAH.

Nah just kidding.

So after Sports Day, we went to NEX to watch The Great Gatsby! It’s been ages since I’ve last been to a cinema to watch a movie and I’m soo comforted by the revelation that I can finally watch a movie HAHA. The Great Gatsby was indeed a well-written plot and the ending was undoubtedly tragic. It leaves viewers with a sense of depression and melancholy once they stepped out of the cinema. Indeed, money can’t buy everything in this world. I was though quite pissed off with Daisy HAHA. But I shan’t reveal the reason as to why I was pissed off, lest I might spoil the movie for you guys.

Friday was also my birthday. My slut gang is the most sweetest gang ever in that they bought me a mug and gifted me there and there at NEX. Also Sophie made this pretty card for me so I am truly blessed that I’ve found such a nice bunch of peeps. And she got most of the A08 peeps to write down their wishes so it’s very sweet and comforting to read that card. Honestly, I love those kind of cards where everybody writes their wishes. Although its kinda repetitive, but each one will write a unique message on it, and trust me it’s an esteem booster haha. Thank you once again Lekhaa, Linny, Joyce, Sophie, Sherry and Wei Liang 🙂

On Friday itself I didn’t really went out with my friends but I did go out with my family to celebrate my birthday. Honestly, I don’t feel like I’m 1 year older and the fact that I’m almost legal HAHAHA. Nevertheless, thanks to everyone who wished me, be it on the card itself, on Facebook (which I have yet to reply), on Twitter, even on instagram or even with a text or a whatsapp message 🙂

It’s Monday tomorrow and it’s supposed to be a marking day for us but we’re supposed to attend this life skills workshop which I honestly don’t find any benefits. After which I’ll be meeting up with my PW group members to discuss the next phase of our project.

Indeed just now I felt this wave of self-doubt passing right through me and engulfing me. I felt that I’m not capable enough to lead the group to score an A or a B and I’m always feeling afraid that my group is lagging behind. Oh wells, I know I cannot get rid of this feeling. It’ll stay with me until PW is over. But what I can do is learn how to manage it and possibly find a friend whom I can confide in 🙂

I hope I can lead my groupmembers 🙂

Have a wonderful week ahead guys! ❤

Xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer 🙂

The sweet taste of freedom

Hello World!

ferris wheel

SO SAs were officially over for me yesterday, with the end of my H1 history marking the end of it! 😀 I’ve got to say, I don’t think I can say pretty confidently that I’m able to score an A for any of my subjects. Or maybe even a B for that matter. For GP, I dunno whether I was putting my fullest concentration whilst doing the 2 papers and for econs, I don’t think I’m there yet. For Lit, although I felt that I didn’t screw up Fernandez’s part, I still worry about my poems part coz whilst doing the poems, I was like “OMG, I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE, WHY DID I TAKE H2 LIT WHHHYY SOMEBODY SAVE ME” coz writing for the past 1h 30mins non-stop is really, REALLY tiring already. So one can imagine how limp my hand was after that 2hour paper hahah. Luckily there was a kind soul who’s willing to massage my hand for me HAHAHAH. Mother Tonguee…. meh…. I didn’t get a strong A back then, most probably wouldn’t get an A now. HAHA. Maths was just plain retarded. Hoping for a pass here for math HAHA. And of course, History was so-so. Although I don’t think my elaborations were strong and I didn’t think my reason for taking the stand makes sense oh wells.

WHICH REMINDS ME

My history teacher is, how do you put this, just a tad bit weird. He asked us to reflect on our history paper and on how well we thought we’re gonna do the paper and why. He also asked us to include in how many hours of studying did we put in for studying his subject and include in his strengths and weaknesses also in teaching. I was like “whaatttt????” Part of me kinda salutes his attitude for always wanting to improve but his “punishment” for not doing this reflection is even weirder HAHA. Penalties will be “imposed” if you don’t submit in your reflections, and if your reflections were rubbish and were not beneficial to him at all, then he’ll ask you to redo with “penalties imposed”

Em ohkies can. LOL.

Been obssessed with MGMT lately ever since Lekhaa recommended one song by them to me. THAT SAID, I’m so glad I found an indie friend, who’s also one of my closest friends now in TPJ, in my class! For that matter, I am glad I found a group of people who actually share the same interest in the same music genre OMG. Anyways moving on, I’ve heard of the band MGMT before because whilst listening to Foster The People’s Houdini, youtubers were consistently comparing the song to one of MGMT’s songs, saying how they were similar etc etc. And I remembered checking out the song that was soo similar but back then I think I was too obsessed with FTP’s houdini until I completely dismissed MGMT’s one. That was approximately 1 year ago? Heheh. So 1 year later, Lekhaa introduced me to them and lo and behold, I am obsessed with them now hahahaha. Their album Oracular Spectacular and Congratulations are just beyond amazing. And what’s even more exciting is that they’re gonna release a new self-titled album called MGMT ohmyglee I am excited alright HEHEHE. There might even be a possibility that they might come to singapore but then again, I don’t think the fanbase here is big so….

Wow I miss such posts where I’m just rambling away and away and I don’t care whether loads of people view it or not because these posts just reflect my emotions and opinions. This if of course not to say that I don’t want people to read it, in fact, I am very thankful and appreciative of the people who read such posts of mine to the end, because you tolerated such ramblings and fangirling-ness despite it probably not being your areas of interes hehe so thank you beautiful readers ❤

And now, with the end of exams over, I have to make full use of this short freedom. TIME TO CATCH UP ON ALL MY SHOWS 😀

Have a great week everybody 😀 Its Wednesday here in Singapore and if it is also Wednesday in your time zones too, then cheer up half of the week is gone 😀

xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer 🙂

TGIF

Hello World!

pink car

Ohkies so that’s just a random picture of a pink car cause I thought of making this post a light-hearted one full of random shits hahaha. Well, actually its not totally random. The picture reflects my desire and wish to own a pink car someday, where I’m able to drive it to my future work. I envision myself coming out of the car with lots of swag and groove and I can hear the click clack of my heels clicking against the hard pavements when I’m walking towards my workplace, where I’ll hold some high position and where people will greet me or acknowledge my existence at the very least. Basically I associate the car with a sense of independence.

HOMAIGAWD. Miss Fernandez’s way of teaching and analyzing texts is seriously getting to my head, to the point where I’m actually beginning to think critically and to think deeper about everything I see or read. LOLOL. The effects of H2 lit.

So we had our SAs this week and I could officially say 3/4 of has been conquered. My last paper is gonna be on next tuesday and it’s my H1 history paper. It started on wednesday. I have to admit those 3 days were the hardest and most painful days because all my H2 content-based subjects were jammed into 3 days. And econs and lit were 2 hour long papers, and MT was 3 hours long. One can imagine how painful my hand was after each exam goodness gracious me.

Overall, I think it was ohkies but I have this constant fear that I wasn’t focusing and putting my fullest attention to the papers during the exams, so I’m afraid I won’t do as well as I should :/

Had EXCO CCA interview today and I dunno what and how to feel haha. It’s as if I’m already emotionless towards giving interviews and presentations in front of the class. Like if I screw it up or slip up, I’ll be like “ohkays, nevermind, there’ll be a next time.” I guess I’ve sorta gotten used to the fact that I might slip up now and then. Even if I don’t, I don’t feel a sense of achievement.

LOL.

Anyways I’m pretty afraid of getting the position I applied for actually. Because I didn’t know it’ll be quite a heavy workload. I do not want CCA to be a burden on my studies, that’s precisely the reason why I joined a club and society CCA. And furthermore, I want to be an OGL so it’s either this position or OGL. I don’t think I’m able to handle both unless there’s an assistant helping me. Let’s see how it goes :/

And now some words of wisdom,

“Some of us live in a state of lack. We think we need what we don’t have – a relationship, a quality, a life circumstance – and we spend our time looking outward for fulfillment. This is an “if only” life, and it ignores the treasures that are already here. Take an honest look at this very moment. If you stop buying into stories that run in your mind, is there anything missing? The universe is so abundant, giving us exactly what we need. When we realize the peace that comes from wanting what we are given, we surrender our ideas of lack, making space for our natural selves to shine. When we recognize how we hold ourselves back, we have stepped onto the path that takes us back to ourselves. No matter how you feel in this moment, your inner light is shining. Pull away the veils, and let your whole self light up the world.”
~Grail Brenner

My Monday and Friday have been made, all thanks to you.

Have a great weekend everybody! 🙂

xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer 🙂

When you enter the sea

Hello World!

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Ohkays so today is Friday and TGIF. But this is gonna be the last weekend before my SAs and I know I have to be mugging and all but I am taking a break. Gah, this lack of motivation that kicks in when I’m studying is beginning to set in, and I hate the feeling of forcing myself to study 😦 oh wells 😦

But really, this week has been such a great one. There’s so many highlights of this week. I shall post one at a time 🙂

This week, can’t remember which day was it, I had a talk with my sister who’s currently doing her LAST AND FINAL exams in Uni. Yeaps she’s in her third and final year in Uni. And she was telling me that well, PSLE and O Levels are really nothing. A levels on the other hand, is something. And I’m beginning to realize this when I stepped into tampines JC.

It’s like, no one I know of who went through A Levels could confidently say that A Levels was nothing, was a piece of cake and a good experience. If they had to choose which struggle they vividly remember, it’ll be that of A Levels. One cannot fully forget the sufferings and the exhaustion of the A Levels.

The effects of it stay on and linger with you for perhaps the rest of your life. Even my oldest sister who’s 29 years old didn’t admit that it was easy. All of them said that As is challenging.

I’ve looked at a quote once that went along the lines of once you entered a struggle, you’ll emerge out of it as a completely different person from the one who entered the struggle. I’ve been trying to decipher the meaning and what it really means and what kind of struggle that’s so impactful it has the power to change oneself.

I guess I found it.

Have a fruitful Friday and weekend beautiful readers! 🙂

Xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer 🙂

A reminder please ~

“Everyone you meet has a struggle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

I think this is really true. Before you judge what others say or do, I think it’s important to at least consider the reason behind their actions and their words. Everything has a reason behind it. And really, don’t jump to conclusions that fast. You don’t know anything about their life, especially if you’re not close to them. You don’t know what are their worries or their fears and you don’t know what they’re thinking. You don’t understand them, especially if you’re not close to them.

I forgive, but I don’t forget.

Some night thoughts. Oh wells, have a good night everybody! 🙂

Xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer 🙂