Archive | June 2013

The moment when I felt the luckiest girl in the world.

Felt the urge to blog about something but honestly I dunno what to blog about oh the paradox HAHA.

Well, over Two Door Cinema Club’s This Is The Life over in the background, quietly playing in my earpiece, providing me with serenity and tranquility on this random night, I finally got reminded of that one time I felt like I was the luckiest girl in the world.

Well, on Monday I had a PW meetup with my PW groupmembers and I had to go tampines regional library. Man the first time I’ve been there was such a truly unforgettable experience. On Monday, I went back there again and as I waited for my groupmembers to come, I went up to the fiction room and saw the book which I actually snatched and borrowed approximately 7 months ago. That book was Nora Roberts’s Happy Ever After. The wave of nostalgia was just surreal.

Omg seriously for a bookworm like me, that feeling when you managed to get hold of the book you so dearly want is just awesome. You feel as though you are the luckiest girl in the world, that all the stars are aligned just for you, that your fate and your destiny didn’t let you down for once. Seriously I’m not kidding, when I saw that last book that was available at tampines regional library 7 months ago, I literally snatched it. I literally felt as though all bad and depressed experiences I ever had were vanished forever, and truly that was one of the times where I felt really happy.

Of course, this feeling is accompanied by the fact that I missed the stop whilst traveling from marine parade’s library to tampines library and ended up traveling on the expressway and landing my butt on some desolated bus stop at pasir ris, without a sole recognition of the place. I swear it was so unfamiliar and I felt truly scared because it was going to be nighttime. Furthermore there was not a soul at the bus stop so you can imagine how thoughts of some rapist lurking around somewhere began to fill my panicked mind HAHA.

So if someone asks me how much I love reading books, this is one evidence that reveals how much I love those papers which tell a story.

The needles on the path to growth.

A lone soldier fighting a battle he didn’t ask for in the first place.

JC has the power to suck away optimism I thought I had so securely tight in my character, so securely fastened in my heart. I’m not kidding you, sometimes my self-esteem can just plunge me into a hole of despair that can seem so deep and so endless that I just can’t get out. But then, I remembered that I can not give JC that opportunity to change me into something I promised myself I will never let myself become. I cannot allow myself to succumb to such madness. The path to growth and the path to self-fulfillment is filled with many obstacles, many treacherous hardships that can tear you from limb to limb mercilessly. The path to growth is sometimes filled with those sharp needles and you gotta tread on them oh so carefully. Sometimes though, your feet accidentally touches the needle and all you feel is the hot searing pain, and nothing else.

That’s how I occasionally feel. But I also remember that you’ve always got a choice. You’ve got a choice to sit down and possibly get yourself hurt again, or you can start walking up again, and be more careful this time, because you’ve been hurt, and every time you’re hurt, you learn something about yourself, you learn something about life, and you’ll be smarter to avoid such mishaps again. You’ll be stronger. When that needle hurts your feet again, you won’t feel the same hot, stinging sensation that was so intolerable you once felt.

Along the way, you’ll be remembered of people who loved you dearly, who had faith in you that you could go on no matter what. Along the way you’ll meet new people who in time, you will soon realize that they also care as much as your old friends. And these people, these people will be the guidance and the strength you need to carry on.

So here’s to making a choice of never allowing myself to sit down on the path to growth, even if that sharp needle penetrated through my skin once.

A little wisdom keeps the negative thoughts at bay

pink clutch

Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it, it’s just easier if you do.”

~Byron Katie

Reverting back to my old style of having words of wisdom at the beginning of an entry. It’s such a great way to begin a post, no? Not only does it make the beginning of an entry interesting and captivating so as to attract readers to read, it also brings about a wave of wisdom to the reader itself. Well, for me, these small little lines full of deep and intense meaning brings such joy to my life, and it never fails to help me with whatever internal crisis I’m going through at the moment.

Havent been up to much lately during the June holidays. Yes I went out a few times and I also did homework. The thought of so many homework left unchecked and uncrossed is just overwhelming. It’s already mid-June and I can safely say I haven’t finished half of the homework teachers set us for. Now, I do not want this to be a complaint letter about the cracks of Singaporean education (but seriously, they have much debate over PSLE – of all national examinations – and none about how JC is stressing the lives out of 17 and 18 year olds. This frankly, pisses the hell out of me.)

Went out with my JC bijjes to catch “Now You See Me” on Thursday! 🙂 It was soo great to be able to meet up with them and catch a movie together. Now You See Me was just beyond incredible. The storyline was definitely interesting and captivating and the way the plot twists at the end was just jaw-dropping and eye-popping. HAHA. Maybe not eye-popping, but jaw-dropping omg. Not to mention, Dave Franco was unbelievably hot at the movie and me and my friends were literally spazzing, mind you, OUT LOUD, in the theatre itself, to which we got irritated sidelong glances HAHAHA. But whatever, in singapore there’s a major lack of hot guys so when you see one on the screens you’re bound to spazz. It’s just we, display it out, while some girls, they keep it to themselves HAHAHA.

On Saturday, met up with Rui Lin and Deanna to do some history together and omg it was sooooooooooo good to see them again after 5 months of not being in contact. Just seeing your secondary school friends brings about a wave of nostalgia that hits close to home and it’s just a surreal feeling haha. However, and I seriously do not know how I actually did this, I OVERSLEPT OHMYGLEE. I was supposed to meet them at 10am, but I WOKE UP at 10.12am instead omg fail shab is fail. HOWWW?? WHYYY??? WHENNN???? Seriously….

So we compared notes and apparently, Rui Lin and Deanna concluded TPJC’s history notes were the best HAHA OMG SERIOUSLY???!!! Mind you, Rui Lin’s now an NYJC-ian and Deanna’s a TJC-ian. Well, that brought a smile to my face because ultimately, no matter how much you say you hate your school, you can’t escape the fact you’re from there. And you gotta admit, you do light up whenever someone praises your school. And trust me, these praises do not come often, especially with a school like TPJC. The wave of complains, I can assure you, is bigger than the wave of praises. So yeahs, it is heartwarming to hear your fellow peers praise your school for something good, for once. HAHA.

Well, isn’t this just a mindless rattling off post or what? I miss these kind of posts. Indeed, I am growing as I entered into JC. And sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to grow at all.

xoxo,
ShabiraBasheer 🙂

Underneath the sheen layer of happiness

What sucks is that underneath this sheen of happy, funny, care-free girl who doesn’t give a damn about the world is someone who’s lonely and afraid. She may look like she’s care-free and willing to take on new challenges, but truth be told, she’s still a frightened child underneath it all. She needs reassurance, she needs someone she can count on, she needs a strong pillar of support to lean on. She may look like she’s the pillar people will lean on, but truth be told, she also needs her own pillar. She’s very afraid, she’s feeling down, she doesn’t get why some of her friends feel sad because they don’t face problems like hers. She doesn’t get why they ought to feel sad coz they have something she doesn’t have. She doesn’t get why she has to work hard to achieve something so simple and basic to human life, and that is communication. She feels as though her life could’ve been better if she was someone else.

Often, we feel thankful someone brightened up our day. But, have we ever stopped to think these people need brightening up themselves?

Back from IFC camp! It was an awesome and truly a fun camp, with crazy seniors. Our group got lost for 2 hours at the Amazing Race. I got wet like never before during the water games it was like an awesome summer party at the school field with awesome IFC seniors and equally awesome IFC J1 mates ❤ thanks to everybody who had a part to play in making this camp a reality I truly appreciate the effort ❤