Archive | September 2014

To be able to love

I’m 18 and I hear people my age telling each other what it feels like to fall in love.
Falling in love.
What is love? How does it feel like? How do you know when you’re falling in love? What is the impact of falling in love? Why do you feel such emotions?
I get curious, extremely curious, and I start to wonder when those emotions will be mine to experience.
I have a gazillion crushes and eye candies throughout my school life. But never have I experienced falling in love. Never have I put someone else’s needs before my own. Never have I felt someone else’s pain as though it were mine. Never have I accepted somebody for all their imperfections and flaws and still love them irrevocably. Never have I trusted someone so much, to strip myself down and be vulnerable in front of them. Never have I been willing to stick with someone till the very end, and never have I sacrificed so much for a particular being.
Sometimes I feel a large part of my life is missing because I’ve never experienced all these emotions before. And maybe some of you reading will take pity on me because an 18 year old girl has not experienced one of the true joys/wonders/hardships in life.
But you know what? I am glad I haven’t experienced these emotions, these feelings yet. Because this just means the right person has not come yet. I am not deceived by anyone’s actions or words. I have not find that person just yet.
And I’m not intending to find or search for that person. I’m not going to desire for that person to come to my life. I’m not going to yearn for him.
When the time comes for him to enter into my life, he will. And he will never make an exit. He will stay with me, he will love me just as I will.
And when he comes, that’s when I’ll know that I too, will fall in love.